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The relationship between teens and social media can be complex. While social media platforms offer opportunities for connection, self-expression, and learning, they also present challenges and potential risks. To foster a healthy relationship with social media, parents, educators, and caregivers can encourage open communication, set clear boundaries and guidelines for social media use, educate teens about online safety and digital literacy, and role model positive online behavior themselves.

It’s essential to approach social media as a tool that can enrich teens’ lives while also being mindful of its potential risks and challenges.

  • Social Connection: Social media provides teens with a platform to connect with friends, family, and peers, regardless of physical distance. It allows them to maintain relationships, share experiences, and communicate in real-time.
  • Self-expression and Identity: Social media platforms offer teens a space to express themselves creatively, share their thoughts and opinions, and explore different aspects of their identity. They can curate their online persona and connect with others who share similar interests and values.
  • Learning and Information Sharing: Social media can be a valuable source of information and learning for teens. They can access educational content, news updates, tutorials, and discussions on various topics of interest.
  • Impact on Mental Health: Excessive use of social media has been linked to various mental health issues among teens, including anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and body image issues. Comparison with others, cyberbullying, and fear of missing out (FOMO) are some factors that contribute to these negative effects.
  • Online bullying: Social media platforms can be breeding grounds for cyberbullying, harassment, and online conflicts among teens. The anonymity and lack of face-to-face interaction can embolden individuals to engage in harmful behavior.
  • Privacy and Security Concerns: Teens may not always fully understand the privacy settings and potential risks associated with sharing personal information online. They may inadvertently expose themselves to privacy breaches, identity theft, or online predators.
  • Distraction and Time Management: Excessive use of social media can interfere with teens’ academic performance, sleep quality, and real-life interactions. It’s essential for teens to develop healthy habits and boundaries around social media usage.
  • Digital Footprint: Teens need to be aware that their online activities leave a digital footprint that can have long-term consequences. Colleges, employers, and others may scrutinize their social media profiles as part of background checks or evaluations.

If you or your teen is experiencing issues connected to social media or the internet, speaking regularly with a trained therapists could help work through these issues and challenges.

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Self-confidence is a fundamental aspect of one’s self-esteem and overall well-being. It refers to the belief in your abilities, judgment, and potential to succeed in various aspects of life. Self-confidence can have a significant impact on your personal and professional life, influencing your decision-making, relationships, and overall happiness.

It’s in your hands, working on some of the below areas of self awareness and improvement, would drastically impact your self confidence:

  • Self-awareness: Understanding your strengths and weaknesses is the first step to building self-confidence. Know what you’re good at and what you need to improve.
  • Set realistic goals: Establish achievable goals that challenge you but are still within your reach. Achieving these goals can boost your confidence.
  • Positive self-talk: Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations. Challenge and reframe self-limiting beliefs. Instead of saying, “I can’t do this,” say, “I can learn and improve.”
  • Preparation: Be well-prepared for tasks and challenges. The more you know and practice, the more confident you’ll feel.
  • Body language: Your posture and body language can affect how confident you appear. Stand tall, make eye contact, and use open and assertive gestures.
  • Self-care: Taking care of your physical and mental health is crucial for self-confidence. Exercise, eat well, get enough sleep, and manage stress effectively.
  • Learn from failures: Instead of seeing failures as setbacks, view them as opportunities for growth. Analyze what went wrong and how you can do better next time.
  • Surround yourself with positive influences: Spend time with people who support and encourage you. Avoid individuals who bring you down or undermine your confidence.
  • Seek feedback: Ask for constructive feedback from trusted friends, mentors, or colleagues. Use this feedback to improve and grow.
  • Visualization: Picture yourself succeeding in challenging situations. Visualization can help you mentally prepare and boost confidence.
  • Take risks: Stepping out of your comfort zone and facing new challenges can help you build confidence over time. Even if you don’t succeed every time, you’ll gain valuable experience.
  • Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. Don’t be too hard on yourself when you make mistakes.

Remember that self-confidence is not something that can be developed overnight. It takes time, effort, and practice. Everyone has moments of self-doubt, but with consistent effort and the right mindset, you can improve your self-confidence and achieve your goals.


 

APPOINTMENTS

 

 


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It is likely too hard to tell if your mental health indirectly caused weight gain, or weight gain affects your mental health.

Obesity can have a significant impact on a person’s mental wellbeing, adults with excess weight have a much higher risk of developing depression compared to people that do not struggle with their weight. Below is a look at how obesity can affect mental health and vice versa:

  1. Low self-esteem: Obesity is often associated with societal stigma, body shaming, and negative stereotypes. People with weight issues may experience low self-esteem and poor body image, which can lead to feelings of shame, guilt, and self-blame. This negative self-perception can impact overall mental well-being.
  2. Depression and anxiety: Obesity has been linked to higher rates of depression and anxiety. The social isolation, discrimination, and negative body image associated with obesity can contribute to these mental health conditions. Additionally, hormonal imbalances and inflammation associated with obesity may directly affect brain chemistry and contribute to the development of these disorders.
  3. Eating disorders: While obesity and eating disorders may seem contradictory, they can be interconnected. Some individuals with obesity may develop binge eating disorder, which involves consuming large amounts of food in a short period and feeling a loss of control. This can further contribute to weight gain and negatively impact mental health.
  4. Poor quality of life: Obesity can limit physical mobility and decrease overall quality of life. Difficulties in performing daily activities, such as exercise or even simple tasks, can lead to frustration, decreased self-worth, and feelings of helplessness, which can affect mental well-being.
  5. Social withdrawal and isolation: People with obesity may face discrimination and social stigma, which can lead to social withdrawal and isolation. This lack of social support and meaningful connections can contribute to feelings of loneliness, depression, and anxiety.
  6. Cognitive function: Some research suggests that obesity may have negative effects on cognitive function and increase the risk of conditions like dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. This can further impact mental health by causing cognitive decline and emotional distress.

It is important to note that the relationship between obesity and mental health is complex, and individual experiences may vary. Seeking professional help from healthcare providers, such as therapists, counselors, or registered dietitians, can be beneficial in addressing both physical and mental health concerns associated with obesity.


 

Schedule an appointment to discuss your options and your future: bcsnygroup.com/appointments


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nar·cis·sist
noun:  a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves.

Common Narcissist Characteristics

  • Inflated Ego.
  • Lack of Empathy.
  • Need for Attention.
  • Repressed Insecurities.
  • Few Boundaries.

A Narcissistic Partner

A Narcissist will often deploy a variety of behaviour patterns such as control, manipulation, and exploitation to ensure that their own relationship needs are met. As the partner you could be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while they treat everyone else with respect.

Narcissistic partners act as if they are always right, that they know better and that their partner is wrong or incompetent, resulting in their partner feeling angry, trying to defend themselves or identifying with this negative self-image and feeling badly about themselves. A Narcissist will purposefully do things to destroy your happiness and relaxing moments, or to prevent you from doing something as simple as sleep, in order to have control. While being the target of narcissistic abuse is stressful and hurtful, many narcissists are unaware of how their actions impact others. If they are aware that others feel negatively about them or about their choices, they often lack the ability to take responsibility for their actions or see them as wrong.

Narcissists are also drawn to those who can boost their own self-esteem and validate their sense of importance,being associated with someone who is successful or admired can make the narcissist feel more important by proxy.

Gaslighting

There are four primary types of gaslighting behaviors: the straight-up lie, reality manipulation, scapegoating and coercion. Often it’s a combination of these behaviors. Narcissistic Gaslighting may include suggesting you’re “confused,” “mixed up” or “misremembering.” or saying something like, “I have no memory of that” or, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

If you think your Partner is Gaslighting you, consider these red flags: a. You are excessively questioning yourself.  b. You’re constantly feeling confused.  c. You’re frequently thinking you must be perceiving things incorrectly. d.  You feel your partner is lying to you about things that are very obvious and expecting you to believe them. Gaslighting can undermine your sense of reality, making it difficult for you to trust your own thoughts and feelings.

But be assured, this is not your fault, and it’s not a healthy relationship.

No matter if it’s a work colleague, a romantic partner, a friend, a sibling, or someone else in your life, let them know that they are Gaslighting you (they may be unaware) and that you won’t stand for that kind of manipulative, emotional abuse. Leaving an abusive relationship with a narcissist is tough, but it is possible as long as you trust your gut and have firm boundaries, and keep reminding yourself why you need to walk away.

 

If you would like help, join our safe, non judgemental group:

Living with a Narcissist; setting your boundaries

 

 


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Life has a way of teaching us how to love ourselves through aging, an inevitable metamorphosis, whether we accept it or not.

I’m 69 years old. I’m proud of who I am, what i have achieved, and what i have contributed to my community. My age has never defined me, how i look, how I dress, how I act.

I know women who are younger than I am, that seem… well, older some how. This led me to a theory; maybe the way we perceive age is mainly, in part, due to how the women who raised us also perceived it? As child, I grew up with sisters who where 20 years older than me, through my eyes, the women in my family always seemed old and looked old. I thought they represented aging as slowing down until death.

I personally, like to perceive getting old as a promotion, or a victory celebrating what I have overcome throughout my life. What I began to understand was that maybe the resentment of aging is more psychological than physical. I am convinced that aging is not the end of a beautiful thing, but is the beautiful thing itself.

In spite of my upbringing, I am learning to dwell in the present, embracing each phase of my life for what it is, and what it has to offer, without resenting the years that I have yet to be graced with. When we grow older, we tend to only think of the end, we can lose sight of the fact that life is not about preparing for the end, but how we seize the years in between.

There will be days when I do not recognize the face of the woman I see in the mirror, although her eyes look the same. Despite that, I have decided that I will be mindful even now, not to burden my older years with dread. I know who I am, and i will not let my age or society dictate what I should be. I will live in the moment, and i will live my life to the fullest.

Nicoletta Pallotta.

Article written 2021.


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An article by Nicoletta Pallotta, MD, LCSW.

The challenges that women deal with are often directly related to their gender; sexism, stereotyping, motherhood, childbirth issues, infertility struggles etc.

As a society we like to think that we’ve achieved ‘equality’, but the truth is the way women experience life and are perceived in life, is still very different to men.

Traditionally perceived gender roles are something we’ll never truly escape. There is inherent pressure on women to balance career and family, and this is something that affects women across the globe. If you have children, you probably undergo immense guilt when unavoidable parental obligations interrupt your working day, even if a 60-hour week is your norm, deep down you may still think this way. All this in addition to the general predicament of feeling undervalued both at home and at work.

If you feel like you need help in dealing with any aspect of life, there’s a lot to be said for talking to someone of the same sex. Female therapists get it, because they live it. They understand. This is not to say that male therapists aren’t amazing and don’t add value, but when you’re dealing with sensitive subjects that are unique to women (and even when you’re not) it can be comforting, and easier to talk to a female counselor who can personally relate to much of what you’re going through.

 


 

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Self-care is a crucial part of looking after yourself, as well as those around you.

Practicing self-care can produce positive feelings, which boosts motivation and self-esteem leaving you with increased energy to support yourself as well as your loved ones. Engaging in a self-care routine has been proven to reduce anxiety, stress and depression, improve concentration, minimize frustration and anger, increase happiness, improve energy, and more.

Self-care means something different to each of us, but it doesn’t need to be complicated or overly time consuming. We asked our therapists to share their own self-care routines, maybe some of these might work for you:

Victoria
Cup of Tea at night. Glass of wine with my husband while we watch a fun show. Cooking for fun.

Ana
Cooking and creating joy with food is one of my favorite forms of self care.

Auressa
Winding down in the evenings by taking a shower with lavender & vanilla body wash and lotion, doing bed yoga, drinking “well-rested” tea and doing my night time meditation. I also try to do a bentonite clay mask every week to take a mindful pause and care for my skin.

Dahley
Getting into bed by 10pm. No electronics 1 hour before bed. Drink water. Natural light. Workout 4 days a week.

Ariana
I enjoy being mindful of my phone usage, especially in the morning. I like to stretch & release any stagnant energy or emotions trapped within my body. I love finding new songs & listening to old ones that i enjoyed most. I enjoy meditation & travel. Travel resonates most because i truly believe in working to live, not living to work, especially in the time of working from home which has beautiful perks but can exacerbate feelings of stagnancy.

Heather
I keep a daily bullet journal. It is great for me because it serves two purposes. First, as I am not even a little artistic, my friend creates the monthly outline for me. This means that she and I have a standing monthly date so we know that we are going to spend time together which is wonderful self-care for me. Second, it means that I get daily self-care as I take 5-10 minutes to reflect on my day and record the things I for which I am grateful.

Rachel
I enjoy getting into bed early and reading a book. I also enjoy coloring and painting, watching tv shows and movies, and getting my nails done.

Gabrielle
I often use 4-7-8 breathing. Inhaling for a mental count of 4 seconds, holding the breath for 7 seconds, and exhaling for 8 seconds. This breathing technique really activates the parasympathetic response and helps reset after encountering a stressor or feeling overwhelmed. I will usually do a set of 10-20 breaths. It really works.

Amy
I rely on humor as much as possible– I especially enjoy taking a few minutes to laugh at funny memes about therapy & therapists.

Judy
A Large Latte! Every evening 1-2 Seinfeld episodes. Fill up pitcher of water with blend of nutritive teas including green tea for caffeine, grounded flax seeds, chia seeds, almond milk and cinnamon, drink throughout the day. Go out with friends once a week for fun

Paul
When times are normal, and covid numbers aren’t as high as they currently, I go for bi-weekly manicure appointments and I go with my mother so it’s also quality time with mom. I also enjoy reading and having virtual visits with friends and family, Prayer is also a big part of my daily life.

Azadeh
Walks, knitting 🧶 , meditation 🧘🏻‍♀️, reading 📚

Zoe
Daily exercise, warm tea in the morning, journaling, reaching out to friends, nourishing food, cooking. No screens before bed.

Billie
it is so important for me that I take quiet time and time to move my body. I do at least 20 minutes of yoga, 4 times a week, I have tea before bed every work-night, and I protect my Sundays for rest and laziness, or for whatever I say I want to do.

Gabriella
Salsa dancing classes 1x/week, exercise 3x/week, music during my daily commute, nail salon visit 1x/month.

Cynthia
Daily prayer. Getting out of the house. Stretching. Getting enough sleep. Reading something interesting or enjoyable.

Darlene
Having a mental health day to relax, taking a personal care and self pampering time for yourself. Facial, manicure, pedicure, sauna, these things can be done in the comfort of your own home. Relax with a nice cup of tea or wine and most importantly prayer for our family, loved ones, friends and ourselves.

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The most common symptoms include mental block, lack of motivation, irritability, stress eating or loss of appetite and insomnia. Mental exhaustion can affect you for both short-term or long-term. If left unchecked, it can lead to all sorts of serious health problems, including anxiety and burnout.

You get irritated easily. You don’t know why, but almost everything can irritate you. Unfortunately, this can mean you take your frustrations out on those closest to you – those who probably don’t deserve it.

You find it hard to get motivated. You struggle to find the motivation you need for your daily life. This can result in you having a hard time with school, the workplace or even in your own home.

Heightened anxiety. As a result of your mental exhaustion, you probably feel more anxiety or stress, you probably get worried unnecessarily.

Sleep deprived. The overwhelming feeling of exhaustion makes it harder for you to calm your thoughts and fall asleep, which only compounds the fatigue that you are already experiencing.

You are constantly physically tired. When you’re suffering from fatigue, it doesn’t matter how much you sleep, you will still be tired when you get up. It seems never ending.

Mental Fatigue is a treatable condition. The best way to treat it is to eliminate the stressor or the stressful event, if you find you are unable to eliminate the stressor, take advantage of resources available to cope. Talk with a mental health specialist about ways to manage stress and anxiety.

Contact us now if you’d like to talk to an experienced professional – get the help you need.


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An article by : Nicoletta Pallotta

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

Social isolation and working from home, aimed to stop the spread of the coronavirus may be making domestic violence more frequent, more severe and more dangerous. Are you or someone you love being abused? 1 out of every 3 women are in an abusive relationship and this issue becoming even more common during COVID-19, while we are stressed and forced to spend large amounts of time at home together.

Below are 10 common indicators of abuse:

  • Stalking: questioning your every move while telling you that they love you and are being protective
  • Texting or calling you constantly; insisting they are concerned about you and want to make sure that you are safe
  • Controlling your finances: forcing you to account in detail for every dollar that you spend
  • Criticizing you for every little thing you do
  • Humiliating you in front of your family and friends
  • Angering easily, particularly if he or she is drinking
  • Forcing you to have sex against your will
  • Hitting or punching you
  • Jealously of friendships or any other relationships you have
  • Isolating you from family and friends

If you can say yes to even one of these, you are in an abusive relationship.

During a calm stage, it’s easy to remain in the relationship thinking that it won’t happen again, but it doesn’t help to ignore the problem or live in hope that the abuser will change. It’s very important to be prepared and have a safety, back-up plan in case the violence erupts again.

Be prepared in case you need to call a shelter

It’s not accepting defeat to be ready. Find out about legal options or other resources available to you before you have to use them. You should know exactly where to go and how to get there, even if a situation arises the middle of the night.

Prepare an emergency bag, for a quick exit

Keep cash, a checkbook, your savings account details, identification, a medical insurance card and your address book in a safe place where the abuser can’t find it. The last thing you want to be worried about at a time like this is money!

Leave the situation

If it happens, be ready to go. If you have children, take them with you. If you are in immediate danger call 911.