Selfcare Archives

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Thanksgiving is a time for gratitude, delicious food, and reconnecting with loved ones. However, it can also bring challenges, especially when differing personalities, long-standing tensions, or sensitive topics arise. Managing family conflict during Thanksgiving is crucial to preserving the joy of the holiday and ensuring everyone leaves the table with happy memories. Here’s a guide to navigating potential conflicts while fostering harmony.

Plan Ahead
Anticipate Challenges: Reflect on past gatherings to identify potential flashpoints. Whether it’s a heated political debate or unresolved family dynamics, being prepared helps mitigate surprises.
- Set Clear Expectations: Communicate with family members about plans, including meal times, seating arrangements, and activities. Transparency helps reduce misunderstandings and builds a sense of collaboration.
- Delegate Tasks: Involving others in preparation ensures no single person feels overwhelmed. Assign cooking, decorating, and cleanup duties to prevent stress from boiling over into conflict.
Establish Ground Rules
Encourage Respectful Dialogue: Politely ask everyone to avoid divisive topics like politics or religion. Setting this boundary beforehand can prevent arguments at the table.
- Practice Inclusivity: Ensure that every family member feels included and valued. Simple gestures, like asking for input on the menu or accommodating dietary preferences, can go a long way in fostering goodwill.
- Use Humor Wisely: Lighthearted jokes can ease tension, but steer clear of humor that might target sensitive issues or individuals.
Manage Tensions in the Moment
Stay Calm: If a disagreement arises, resist the urge to escalate. Take a deep breath, and maintain a calm tone to model de-escalation.
- Redirect the Conversation: If a discussion turns heated, subtly shift the focus to a neutral topic. For example, compliment the food, suggest a fun family game, or reminisce about a fond memory.
- Take Breaks: If emotions run high, excuse yourself for a brief moment. A quick walk or step outside can help you reset before re-engaging.
Prioritize Gratitude and Connection
Focus on Thankfulness: Encourage each guest to share something they’re grateful for. This simple exercise shifts attention to positive feelings and shared appreciation.
- Create Shared Experiences: Bonding activities like board games, a family walk, or watching a movie together can help diffuse tension and create happy memories.
- Celebrate Traditions: Engaging in familiar rituals—like carving the turkey or watching football—reminds everyone of the joy and continuity Thanksgiving brings.
Address Underlying Issues (If Appropriate)
Choose the Right Time: Thanksgiving might not be the ideal occasion to resolve long-standing conflicts, but addressing smaller misunderstandings with kindness can help ease tension.
- Communicate with Empathy: Use “I” statements to express feelings without assigning blame. For instance, say, “I feel upset when…” rather than, “You always…”
- Seek Outside Help: If family dynamics are consistently strained, consider family counseling or mediation to work through deeper issues in a constructive setting.
Be Kind to Yourself
Set Realistic Expectations: Thanksgiving doesn’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. Focus on the moments of joy, no matter how small.
- Practice Self-Care: Taking time for yourself—whether through a morning meditation, a quick workout, or simply sipping coffee in peace—can help you stay centered and calm.
- Learn to Let Go: Accept that some things may not go as planned. Choosing peace over being right can lead to a more harmonious holiday.

Thanksgiving is an opportunity to celebrate togetherness, but it’s also a reminder that no family is perfect. By planning thoughtfully, setting boundaries, and focusing on gratitude, you can navigate potential conflicts and create a warm, welcoming atmosphere for everyone. After all, the true essence of Thanksgiving lies in cherishing the bonds that bring us together, even amid life’s imperfections.

If you need a little extra help with family conflict, contact us now to scheule an appointment with one of our amazing therapists: 718 313 4357 or bcsnygroup.com/appointments

As the election day approaches, anxiety and stress often rise, with feelings of uncertainty and division affecting individuals across the political spectrum. The blend of constant news updates, passionate debates, and the high stakes of an election can weigh heavily on mental well-being. Election-related anxiety is real, its is specific form of stress linked to the overwhelming influx of political news and the significance many place on the outcomes. Studies indicate that nearly two-thirds of Americans feel elections are a source of stress, with feelings of worry, anger, and helplessness heightened during this time. Recognizing this as a normal response can be a powerful first step in managing it.

Practice Mindful News Consumption
In an era of 24/7 news cycles, it’s tempting to stay glued to every headline or update. However, this constant information flow can contribute to anxiety and make it difficult to separate fact from sensationalism.
Balance Political Engagement with Self-Care
Remaining politically aware and engaged is important, but it doesn’t have to come at the expense of mental health. Create a plan to stay involved without feeling overwhelmed:
Reconnect with Your Values
Elections often prompt people to reflect on their values. Taking time to clarify your principles can make it easier to navigate information and engage thoughtfully. Whether through journaling, meditation, or a discussion with a trusted friend, reconnecting with your values can serve as a grounding anchor amid the chaos.
Practice Grounding Techniques for Stress Relief
When election-related stress peaks, grounding techniques can be valuable for bringing yourself back to a place of calm:
Deep breathing: Try techniques like box breathing (inhale for four counts, hold for four, exhale for four, and hold again) to slow your heart rate.
Mindfulness meditation: Even a few minutes of mindfulness can help reduce stress, allowing you to focus on the present instead of future outcomes.
Exercise: Physical activity releases endorphins, which naturally improve mood and combat anxiety.
Seek Connection Beyond Politics
Election anxiety can create feelings of isolation, especially when political views clash within families or friend groups. Seeking connection beyond politics is essential for mental well-being. Schedule time for activities that allow you to connect with loved ones without focusing on political topics. Schedule regular check-ins: Instead of texting about election news, check in with friends or family members to see how they’re feeling.
Know When to Seek Professional Support
Sometimes, election anxiety may become overwhelming. Therapy can be an effective tool for coping with anxiety and stress, especially if feelings of helplessness or despair start affecting daily life. Cognitive-behavioral techniques, practiced with a licensed therapist, can help you reframe negative thoughts, set boundaries, and regain a sense of balance.
Finding Peace and Purpose
Balancing mental health and political engagement during an election season isn’t easy, but it’s achievable. By setting boundaries, practicing mindfulness, and reconnecting with community, you can manage anxiety without disengaging. Remember that your mental well-being is valuable, and staying grounded and centered will make you a more effective and resilient advocate for the causes you believe in.

In our fast-paced world, finding moments of relaxation can seem like an elusive goal. However, self-care activities are essential for maintaining mental, emotional, and physical well-being. One of the most effective ways to relax is by engaging in activities that promote self-care.

Mindfulness Meditation

Mindfulness meditation is a practice that involves focusing your attention on the present moment. It encourages awareness and acceptance of your thoughts, feelings, and sensations without judgment. This practice has been shown to reduce stress, improve concentration, and enhance overall emotional health.

Reduce Stress: Mindfulness meditation helps to activate the body’s relaxation response, reducing the production of stress hormones like cortisol. This leads to a decrease in overall stress levels.
Improve Emotional Health: Regular practice can lead to improved mood, reduced symptoms of depression and anxiety, and a greater sense of overall well-being.
Enhance Focus and Concentration: By training the mind to focus on the present moment, mindfulness meditation improves attention span and cognitive function.
Promote Physical Health: It has been linked to lower blood pressure, improved sleep quality, and a stronger immune system.

How to Practice Mindfulness Meditation

Getting started with mindfulness meditation is simple and doesn’t require any special equipment.

Find a Quiet Space: Choose a quiet and comfortable place where you won’t be disturbed.
Sit Comfortably: Sit in a comfortable position, whether on a chair or on the floor with a cushion. Keep your back straight and your hands resting on your knees.
Focus on Your Breath: Close your eyes and bring your attention to your breath. Notice the sensation of the air entering and leaving your nostrils, or the rise and fall of your chest or abdomen.
Be Present: As you focus on your breath, you will inevitably notice your mind wandering. When this happens, gently bring your attention back to your breath without judgment.
Start Small: Begin with just a few minutes each day, gradually increasing the duration as you become more comfortable with the practice.
Consistency is Key: Try to practice mindfulness meditation at the same time each day to build a routine.

Tips for Success

Be Patient: It’s normal for your mind to wander. With practice, you’ll find it easier to maintain focus.
Use Guided Meditations: If you’re new to mindfulness meditation, guided meditations can be helpful. There are many apps and online resources available.
Incorporate Mindfulness into Daily Activities: Practice being mindful during everyday tasks, such as eating, walking, or even washing dishes.

Incorporating mindfulness meditation into your daily routine can be a transformative self-care activity. By dedicating just a few minutes each day to this practice, you can significantly reduce stress, improve emotional health, and enhance your overall well-being. Remember, the key is consistency and patience. As you continue to practice, you’ll find yourself more relaxed and better equipped to handle the challenges of everyday life.

Schedule an Appointment with a Therapist: APPOINTMENTS

Stress management is crucial for maintaining overall well-being. Here are some tools and techniques that can help you manage stress:

Deep Breathing Exercises:
Practice deep, diaphragmatic breathing to calm the nervous system.
Inhale deeply through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and exhale slowly through your mouth.

Mindfulness Meditation:
Engage in mindfulness meditation to focus on the present moment.
Apps like Headspace and Calm offer guided meditation sessions.

Physical Exercise:
Regular physical activity can reduce stress hormones and increase endorphins.
Choose activities you enjoy, whether it’s walking, jogging, yoga, or dancing.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR):
Tense and then relax each muscle group in your body to release physical tension.

Healthy Lifestyle Choices:
Ensure a balanced diet, adequate sleep, and hydration.
Limit caffeine and sugar intake, as they can contribute to stress.

Time Management:
Prioritize tasks and break them into smaller, more manageable steps.
Set realistic goals and deadlines to avoid feeling overwhelmed.

Mind-Body Practices:
Explore practices like yoga, tai chi, or qigong for holistic well-being.

Counseling or Therapy:
Seek professional help if stress becomes overwhelming. Therapists can provide coping strategies and support.

Remember, it’s important to find what works best for you. Combining multiple techniques can also enhance their effectiveness in managing stress. If you’re dealing with persistent or severe stress, consider consulting with a healthcare professional for personalized advice.

BCS STRESS MANAGEMENT ONLINE GROUPS: bcsnygroup.com/group-therapy/the-science-of-stress

The concept of “distance” in relation to difficult feelings can be understood in different ways:

Emotional Distance: This refers to creating psychological or emotional space between yourself and difficult feelings. It involves adopting a perspective that allows you to observe and acknowledge your emotions without becoming overwhelmed by them. Emotional distance can help you gain clarity and make more objective decisions, rather than being driven solely by intense emotions.

Physical Distance: Sometimes, physically distancing yourself from a situation or environment that triggers difficult feelings can be helpful. For example, if a particular place or person consistently evokes negative emotions, removing yourself from that situation or minimizing contact may provide relief and a sense of distance from those emotions.

Time Distance: Time can also act as a distancing factor. As time passes, emotions often become less intense, and you may gain a different perspective on the situation. This time distance can bring about healing, acceptance, and a greater ability to handle difficult emotions.

Cognitive Distance: Cognitive distancing involves examining your thoughts and beliefs associated with difficult feelings. By questioning and challenging unhelpful or distorted thinking patterns, you can create distance from the emotions they generate. This process is often part of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and other therapeutic approaches.

It’s important to note that distance from difficult feelings doesn’t necessarily mean avoidance or suppression. Instead, it involves finding healthier ways to navigate and process those emotions, allowing you to respond more effectively and maintain your well-being.

Seeking support from a therapist can be valuable in learning strategies to create distance from, and work through, challenging emotions: contact us

Self-care is a crucial part of looking after yourself, as well as those around you.

Practicing self-care can produce positive feelings, which boosts motivation and self-esteem leaving you with increased energy to support yourself as well as your loved ones. Engaging in a self-care routine has been proven to reduce anxiety, stress and depression, improve concentration, minimize frustration and anger, increase happiness, improve energy, and more.

Self-care means something different to each of us, but it doesn’t need to be complicated or overly time consuming. We asked our therapists to share their own self-care routines, maybe some of these might work for you:

Victoria
Cup of Tea at night. Glass of wine with my husband while we watch a fun show. Cooking for fun.

Ana
Cooking and creating joy with food is one of my favorite forms of self care.

Auressa
Winding down in the evenings by taking a shower with lavender & vanilla body wash and lotion, doing bed yoga, drinking “well-rested” tea and doing my night time meditation. I also try to do a bentonite clay mask every week to take a mindful pause and care for my skin.

Dahley
Getting into bed by 10pm. No electronics 1 hour before bed. Drink water. Natural light. Workout 4 days a week.

Ariana
I enjoy being mindful of my phone usage, especially in the morning. I like to stretch & release any stagnant energy or emotions trapped within my body. I love finding new songs & listening to old ones that i enjoyed most. I enjoy meditation & travel. Travel resonates most because i truly believe in working to live, not living to work, especially in the time of working from home which has beautiful perks but can exacerbate feelings of stagnancy.

Heather
I keep a daily bullet journal. It is great for me because it serves two purposes. First, as I am not even a little artistic, my friend creates the monthly outline for me. This means that she and I have a standing monthly date so we know that we are going to spend time together which is wonderful self-care for me. Second, it means that I get daily self-care as I take 5-10 minutes to reflect on my day and record the things I for which I am grateful.

Rachel
I enjoy getting into bed early and reading a book. I also enjoy coloring and painting, watching tv shows and movies, and getting my nails done.

Gabrielle
I often use 4-7-8 breathing. Inhaling for a mental count of 4 seconds, holding the breath for 7 seconds, and exhaling for 8 seconds. This breathing technique really activates the parasympathetic response and helps reset after encountering a stressor or feeling overwhelmed. I will usually do a set of 10-20 breaths. It really works.

Amy
I rely on humor as much as possible– I especially enjoy taking a few minutes to laugh at funny memes about therapy & therapists.

Judy
A Large Latte! Every evening 1-2 Seinfeld episodes. Fill up pitcher of water with blend of nutritive teas including green tea for caffeine, grounded flax seeds, chia seeds, almond milk and cinnamon, drink throughout the day. Go out with friends once a week for fun

Paul
When times are normal, and covid numbers aren’t as high as they currently, I go for bi-weekly manicure appointments and I go with my mother so it’s also quality time with mom. I also enjoy reading and having virtual visits with friends and family, Prayer is also a big part of my daily life.

Azadeh
Walks, knitting 🧶 , meditation 🧘🏻‍♀️, reading 📚

Zoe
Daily exercise, warm tea in the morning, journaling, reaching out to friends, nourishing food, cooking. No screens before bed.

Billie
it is so important for me that I take quiet time and time to move my body. I do at least 20 minutes of yoga, 4 times a week, I have tea before bed every work-night, and I protect my Sundays for rest and laziness, or for whatever I say I want to do.

Gabriella
Salsa dancing classes 1x/week, exercise 3x/week, music during my daily commute, nail salon visit 1x/month.

Cynthia
Daily prayer. Getting out of the house. Stretching. Getting enough sleep. Reading something interesting or enjoyable.

Darlene
Having a mental health day to relax, taking a personal care and self pampering time for yourself. Facial, manicure, pedicure, sauna, these things can be done in the comfort of your own home. Relax with a nice cup of tea or wine and most importantly prayer for our family, loved ones, friends and ourselves.

MAKE AN APPOINTMENT

An article written by our Founder and CEO,
Nicoletta Pallotta, MD, LCSW

14 months of a Pandemic no one saw coming and no one was prepared for. I have seen clients struggle with social distancing, isolation, struggling with remote working, and/or home schooling their children. We have all been mentally challenged with having no physical contact and not being able to see our friends and loved ones. And of course, the devastating reality of some of us losing loved ones to Covid-19.

I was committed to being one constant in the lives of our clients, to continuing to see every single one of them that needed us, but also being available for so many, many more that reached out for our help. These unique and stressful times pushed us to do psychotherapy in a different way that we were used too. Our roles became overwhelming with responsibilities, with day-in and day-out struggles for my amazing team, who’s dedication and compassion came shinning though day after day after day.

What does the future of mental health look like?
“I believe that we don’t know the full impact of the pandemic, and that many people are still in survival mode.”

Many people are still living day to day, coping with the devastation of personal loss and financial concerns as best they can. Mental services are now more needed and demand than ever before. We still don’t fully know the consequences of social isolation and how it has impacted us and what effect it might have on our children and their futures. We will have to wait and see.

Tele-mental health is here to stay. Technology helps us reach more people who need us, particularly in remote areas, and our therapists turn up every day to help those who need us. And I am here to support them every step of the way.

The future is brighter – I am sure of it.

Finding time to focus on self-care can seem impossible, especially during a pandemic with the demands of work and family life.

Time for yourself is time away from your daily list of chores, responsibilities and commitments. These things will usually still be there even if you take 15 minutes or even an hour to yourself.

Research shows that people who regularly take a little time to themselves, and are comfortable with that time alone, experience increased happiness, better stress management and lower rates of depression.

Unplug.

Step away from social media, email and phone calls, and instead read a book or magazine, go for a walk, or simply stare out the window and daydream. Our devices have become an entertainment crutch, and the go-to when we have a minute to spare.

Finish Work on Time.

This is one of the simplest things you can do when you need a little personal time. This had become much more difficult since we are all now working from home, the end-of-day has become fluid and the result is self-care time has decreased or vanished. If this is you, make it a point to stop work exactly on time at least once a week, and make that saved time self-care time. Practicing some sort of self-care, even once a week will make a difference.

Check in on Yourself.

Take a minute throughout your day to stop, just for a moment, to notice what is happening within and around you. Taking just a moment to reset your mind can help keep you balanced and happier.

Connect.

Reach out to others, sometimes a chat with a friend is all the self-care you need. If you feel you may need help with emotional support, consider a professional counselor to have your thoughts and feelings heard.

If you’d like to speak to a friendly, fully qualified and licensed Therapist, contact us through the form below. It’s completely confidential, and covered by most insurances.

Full Name: *

For billing/insurance purposes, we must have your legal name exactly as it appears on your insurance ID Card

Address *

Address Line 1

City

State

Zip Code

Phone *

Email *

When is the best time to call you? (between 9am-6pm, Mon-Fri) *

It will be about a 10 minute intake call, to collect all information needed to schedule your appointment with a therapist.

Reason for your Appointment? (ie. Depression, Anxiety, family conflict)

This question is optional and confidential. It will help us connect you with the therapist most suited to your needs.

Here is a list of things in 2020 which I am thankful for – my Covid-19 gratitude list:

1. This pandemic and lockdown has given me enough time to be able to relax, rest, and think about my life, my priorities, my beliefs, my goals.

2. This situation has made me realize who my true friends are.

3. “How are you?” means something to me now.

4. I am now truly focused on the present.

5. Every morning I am grateful that my family and friends are healthy.

7. Money is needed, of course, but the pandemic has taught me how little we actually need to have a fulfilling life.

9. I’ve learned to cherish things I took for granted earlier.

10. I now see that nature can easily exist without man, but man wouldn’t last very long without nature, which is a humbling revelation.

It is normal to feel stressed or overwhelmed at this moment in time. Emotions may include anxiety, fear, a feeling of being out of control.

Taking care of yourself is extremely important now more than ever. Here are a few tips:

Plan your day: As tempting as it might be to stay in pyjamas all day, regular routines are essential for our identity, self-confidence and purpose.

Get physical: Move more every day. Explore different ways of adding physical movement and activity to your day and find some that work best for you.

Relax: Relaxing and focusing on the present can help improve your mental health and lighten negative feelings.

Stay in-touch: This could be anything, from sharing a cup of tea over video, playing an online game together, or simply sending a supportive text-message.

Remember yourself: Take time to reflect and practice self-compassion: Mindfulness techniques may also help you focus on the present rather than dwelling on unhelpful thoughts.

Improve your sleep: Wind down before bed by avoiding using your phone, tablet, computer or TV for an hour before bedtime.

Changes in your emotional state that become persistent or interfere with daily life may need a little extra self-care:

Trouble focusing on daily tasks
Persistent, heightened anxiety
Elevated emotional state
Feelings of helplessness
Fear for family or your future

If you are experiencing any of the above, and feel a little extra support is needed, talk to us. Schedule an appointment with one of our full trained Online Counselors.

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Older Posts

Focused Articles

Managing Family Conflict During Thanksgiving: A Guide to a Peaceful Holiday

Navigating Election Anxiety: Your Mental Health and Political Engagement

The Power of Self-Care: Finding Relaxation Through Simple Activities

Mindfulness Meditation

How to Practice Mindfulness Meditation

Tips for Success

Stress management

adding distance from difficult feelings

The concept of “distance” in relation to difficult feelings can be understood in different ways:

Our therapists share their Self-care routines

Self-care is a crucial part of looking after yourself, as well as those around you.

Self-care means something different to each of us, but it doesn’t need to be complicated or overly time consuming. We asked our therapists to share their own self-care routines, maybe some of these might work for you:

Life after the pandemic

make time for yourself

Finding time to focus on self-care can seem impossible, especially during a pandemic with the demands of work and family life.

Unplug.

Finish Work on Time.

Check in on Yourself.

Connect.

What is there to be thankful for during Covid-19

Here is a list of things in 2020 which I am thankful for – my Covid-19 gratitude list:

looking after your mental health during COVID-19

IN AN EMERGENCY

BCS Counseling Group is NOT an emergency or 24 hour service.

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