Advice

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Every woman has the ability to make a difference in the community in which they live.

As well as impacting the people we encounter every day on some level, we’re role models for our daughters, granddaughters, sisters, nieces and friends. Helping to make a positive change in the lives of others is especially important during this time of COVID-19, when so many people are stressed and under financial, emotional and all other kinds of stress and anxiety.

If you’re wondering how you can contribute to your community, remember it doesn’t have to be a grand gesture, things you may take for granted could make all the difference in someones life.

Here’s one uplifting example:

“Susan, a stay at home mom, who has 3 children at school was exploring ways that she could contribute to her community. Having to be home for her children meant that she had limited free time to offer, but she still wanted to give back. One day, she found the opportunity to volunteer at a canned food drive that was run by one of the local community programs. Susan couldn’t believe how fulfilling it was to help other people. When she met with the person in charge of the food pantry, she presented the idea of distributing food to seniors in the community who are unable to leave their homes”.

Imagine how rewarding this experience was for Susan, and how her actions could influence the women in her life? When you perform an act of selflessness, and give your time and energy to others, you’re not only helping people but setting an example. Paying it forward is such an important life lesson and a great message to share. No act of kindness can ever be too small, whether it’s helping a person in your community, with poor vision, across the street or assisting someone who is struggling to make a doctor’s appointment.

In the words of Oprah: “When we think only about ourselves, we live a half-life, when we give back, we live a full life”.

Article by Nicolletta Pallotta. CEO, Founder.

Life has a way of teaching us how to love ourselves through aging, an inevitable metamorphosis, whether we accept it or not.

I’m 69 years old. I’m proud of who I am, what i have achieved, and what i have contributed to my community. My age has never defined me, how i look, how I dress, how I act.

I know women who are younger than I am, that seem… well, older some how. This led me to a theory; maybe the way we perceive age is mainly, in part, due to how the women who raised us also perceived it? As child, I grew up with sisters who where 20 years older than me, through my eyes, the women in my family always seemed old and looked old. I thought they represented aging as slowing down until death.

I personally, like to perceive getting old as a promotion, or a victory celebrating what I have overcome throughout my life. What I began to understand was that maybe the resentment of aging is more psychological than physical. I am convinced that aging is not the end of a beautiful thing, but is the beautiful thing itself.

In spite of my upbringing, I am learning to dwell in the present, embracing each phase of my life for what it is, and what it has to offer, without resenting the years that I have yet to be graced with. When we grow older, we tend to only think of the end, we can lose sight of the fact that life is not about preparing for the end, but how we seize the years in between.

There will be days when I do not recognize the face of the woman I see in the mirror, although her eyes look the same. Despite that, I have decided that I will be mindful even now, not to burden my older years with dread. I know who I am, and i will not let my age or society dictate what I should be. I will live in the moment, and i will live my life to the fullest.

Nicoletta Pallotta.

Article written 2021.

You may be feeling a bit anxious about your first online therapy session, but there’s no secret step-by-step guide to this process, and it’s also okay if you aren’t fully clear on your goals or what you’re hoping to get from the experience, that can all be part of the process.

Online Counseling appointments are confidential, therefore, the use of a private computer, tablet or smartphone in a quiet environment is strongly encouraged.

Be prepared:

Be ontime, may be aim to be all set up 5 minutes before your start time, incase you forgot something.
Be dressed appropriately in comfortable clothing, but remember, you are entering your therapists virtual place of work, so pajamas or revealing outfits may not be appreciated.
Having a glass of water or a cup of coffee is a good idea, but alcohol or smoking may appear disrespectful.
Furbabies are always welcome to join, as long as they don’t draw your attention away from the connection with your therapist.
Please do not answer phone calls, text or surf the web during the appointment,unless something urgent is occuring.
You are encouraged to speak openly and honestly, the online space is private and secure. it is important you feel emotionally safe, heard and cared for.
Remember, if something feels a bit off during your session, feel empowered to speak up about it. If you are not comfortable bringing it up with your therapist, contact us on 718 232 8600 or email intake@bcsnygroup.com.

Your Therapist:

Your Therapist will endeavor to be on time, but sometimes through unforeseen circumstances, they may be a little late to join, please give them a few minutes grace before you leave the session.
Your Therapist will be dressed appropriately and be professional at all times.
Your Therapist will not answer phone calls, text or surf the web during the appointment.
Your Therapist will be respectful when communicating with you at all times.
Your Therapist reserves the right to end a video session if a client engages in behavior deemed inappropriate, offensive and/or discriminatory.

If there is a concern around your therapists approach, actions or focus of care, please mention it. If you don’t feel comfortable bringing this up in your session, reach out to our team on 718 232 8600 or email intake@bcsnygroup.com to address your concerns.

In Conclusion:

We are here to help you. Give yourself time to embrace this addition to your self-care schedule. Everyone experiences therapy differently, and with time and effort, you will reap the emotional benefits therapy will give you.

Please fill in the form below to schedule an appointment

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For billing/insurance purposes, we must have your legal name exactly as it appears on your insurance ID Card

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Healthcare Insurance Provider: *

(Please write N/A if you do not currently have health insurance)

When is the best time to call you? (between 9am-6pm, Mon-Fri) *

It will be about a 10 minute intake call, to collect all information needed to schedule your appointment with a therapist.

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An article by Nicoletta Pallotta, MD, LCSW.

The challenges that women deal with are often directly related to their gender; sexism, stereotyping, motherhood, childbirth issues, infertility struggles etc.

As a society we like to think that we’ve achieved ‘equality’, but the truth is the way women experience life and are perceived in life, is still very different to men.

Traditionally perceived gender roles are something we’ll never truly escape. There is inherent pressure on women to balance career and family, and this is something that affects women across the globe. If you have children, you probably undergo immense guilt when unavoidable parental obligations interrupt your working day, even if a 60-hour week is your norm, deep down you may still think this way. All this in addition to the general predicament of feeling undervalued both at home and at work.

If you feel like you need help in dealing with any aspect of life, there’s a lot to be said for talking to someone of the same sex. Female therapists get it, because they live it. They understand. This is not to say that male therapists aren’t amazing and don’t add value, but when you’re dealing with sensitive subjects that are unique to women (and even when you’re not) it can be comforting, and easier to talk to a female counselor who can personally relate to much of what you’re going through.

Please fill in the form below to schedule an appointment

Full Name: *

For billing/insurance purposes, we must have your legal name exactly as it appears on your insurance ID Card

Phone *

Email *

Address *

Country

City

State

Zip code

Healthcare Insurance Provider: *

(Please write N/A if you do not currently have health insurance)

When is the best time to call you? (between 9am-6pm, Mon-Fri) *

It will be about a 10 minute intake call, to collect all information needed to schedule your appointment with a therapist.

I agree to the BCS Group Privacy Policy ( bcsnygroup.com/privacy-policy ). BCS Group will not share your information with any 3rd party entities. *

I Agree

Hot flashes, depression, insomnia or other symptoms, are called the menopausal transition, or peri-menopause.

The menopausal transition most often begins between ages 45 and 55. It usually lasts about 7 years but can last as long as 14 years. During the menopausal transition, the body’s production of estrogen and progesterone, two hormones made by the ovaries, varies greatly. Bones become less dense, making women more vulnerable to fractures. During this period, too, the body begins to use energy differently, fat cells change, and women may gain weight more easily.

Menopause may be triggered by a hysterectomy or surgical removal of the ovaries, which produce hormones. If you have surgery to remove your ovaries or uterus and are not taking hormones, you will experience the symptoms of menopause immediately.

This time in a woman’s life is often full of other transitions—not just physical ones. Women may be caring for aging parents or relatives, supporting their children as they move into adulthood, or taking on new responsibilities at work.

Is It Menopause?

If you are having symptoms commonly associated with the menopausal transition, your doctor may ask questions about your age, symptoms, and family history to determine if it really is the menopausal transition causing your symptoms. In some cases, your doctor may suggest a blood test to check your follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) and estradiol (E2) levels to rule out any other causes for the changes you’re experiencing.

The menopausal transition, sometimes called perimenopause, begins several years before a woman’s last period. During this time, women may experience spotty menstrual cycles, hot flashes, and other changes. While this time is commonly referred to as “menopause,” menopause doesn’t happen until 1 year after the final menstrual period.

After menopause, women enter post-menopause. Post-menopausal women are more vulnerable to heart disease and osteoporosis. At this time, it is important to eat a healthy diet and make sure you get lots of calcium to keep your bones strong.

A woman who doesn’t want to get pregnant should continue to use birth control for at least a full 12 months after her last period.

Learn more about the signs and symptoms of menopause. Looking for some relief? Read about options to reduce hot flashes and ways to get a better night’s sleep.

The 5 stages of grief:

1. 1. 1. Denial
    2. Anger
    3. Bargaining
    4. Depression
    5. Acceptance

Denial

Denial is a normally an immediate and temporary response, that carries you through the first wave of pain, you might even doubt the reality of the loss at first. But when you are ready, the feelings and emotions you have denied will surface, and your healing journey will commence.

Anger

It is common to feel anger toward the situation or person you lost. In reality, you understand the person isn’t to blame, but emotionally, you may feel like you resent them for leaving you.

Bargaining

Guilt might rear its head during this stage, your emotions might be trying to regain some control. Non of this is uncommon and as hard as it might feel, this helps you face the reality of your loss.

Depression

Depression, or sadness, is a natural and appropriate response to grief. As you start to face the reality of your loss, the realization may lead you to feel varying degrees sadness to great despair.

Acceptance

An important stage. Accepting the loss you’ve experienced, learning to live with it, and how you will readjust your life accordingly. This may not be the end of your grief, moving back-and-forth between these stages is natural and a part of the healing process. Everyone is different, don’t try to rush it.

Everyone experiences grief differently, you might feel your own grieving process isn’t going “according to the norm” but there is no such thing as a right or wrong way to grieve while of coping with loss.

If you feel you might need a little extra help dealing with grief, contact us now to schedule an appointment with a fully trained and compassionate therapist: APPOINTMENTS

Sadness is an emotion often defined as a ‘transient emotional state’ which can include feelings such as disappointment, grief, hopelessness and disinterest. Like other emotions, sadness is something we all experience from time to time. but when we experience prolonged or severe sadness that is when it can turn into depression.

Depression differs from sadness in its intensity, frequency, and duration.

Intensity; While the event would make most people sad, you respond with a much deeper level of sadness. It is too intense. Your sadness moves outside the normal range of response. Frequency; Your sadness may not be out of proportion, but it is recurrent. You seem to get over it, and then it comes back. This repetitive cycle becomes a pattern in your life. Duration; Your sadness comes and it stays and stays. The sadness lasts much longer than it does for most other people in similar circumstances.

People with depression do not all experience the same symptoms. How severe, frequent, or how long they last will vary, depending on the individual and circumstances.

Here are common symptoms people with depression experience:

Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
Fatigue and decreased energy, feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness
Feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
Insomnia, early morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
Irritability, restlessness, loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex

If you feel you might be suffering from Depression, mild or otherwise, contact us now to see if talking to a therapist might help you.

Schedule an Appointment

Valentine’s Day, love is the topic of the moment.

When we think about love, we generally think in terms of who loves us and whom we love, both of which refer to others. What if Valentine’s Day were really about falling in love with ourselves? Cherishing ourselves?

No matter what relationship you are in, if you don’t know how to appreciate yourself then you don’t know what would make you happy and whole. Some women feel if they don’t have a date, someone to buy them roses or chocolate that they are not worth it.

Last year I was alone for Valentine’s Day and it was an eye opening experience. I realized that loving myself was a difficult lesson to learn. I started to write in my journal. If I met the perfect man, what would I want from him on this day? I initially didn’t know what I would give myself. I continued to struggle and my thoughts started to flow. I decided I would pamper myself with a spa day an get a massage, manicure, pedicure and perhaps even go see that movie I have been wanting to see for some time. So that is what I did. It was the best Valentine’s Day ever.

Let loving yourself remain constant in your life. Use today to implement that and start the path of self love. Even if you have a partner, make just as much time for yourself as you are willing to make for your significant other. Break out your journal, some candles and let yourself relax and write. Take a bubble bath, treat yourself to a home spa day, indulge in that massage you have wanted, or eat in that restaurant that you have been eyeing for weeks….

You deserve it and you deserve to be loved!

Anxiety will vary from person to person, you may experience nervousness, restlessness, feel tense or a sense of panic or impending doom.

Anxiety can cause physical symptoms such as a fast heartbeat or sweating. It is a normal human response to be anxious in certain situations, but you may have an anxiety disorder if you feel anxious all or most of the time.

Some symptoms of anxiety include:

difficulty focusing or thinking clearly
insomnia
rapid heart rate, breathing, or hyperventilation
increased or heavy sweating
digestive or gastrointestinal problems, such as gas, constipation, or diarrhea
a strong desire to avoid the things that trigger your anxiety
obsessions about certain ideas
anxiety surrounding a particular life event or experience that has occurred in the past

Get help early. Anxiety, like many other mental health conditions, can be harder to treat if you wait. Speak to a professional, your Doctor or a Licensed Therapist.

Self-care is a crucial part of looking after yourself, as well as those around you.

Practicing self-care can produce positive feelings, which boosts motivation and self-esteem leaving you with increased energy to support yourself as well as your loved ones. Engaging in a self-care routine has been proven to reduce anxiety, stress and depression, improve concentration, minimize frustration and anger, increase happiness, improve energy, and more.

Self-care means something different to each of us, but it doesn’t need to be complicated or overly time consuming. We asked our therapists to share their own self-care routines, maybe some of these might work for you:

Victoria
Cup of Tea at night. Glass of wine with my husband while we watch a fun show. Cooking for fun.

Ana
Cooking and creating joy with food is one of my favorite forms of self care.

Auressa
Winding down in the evenings by taking a shower with lavender & vanilla body wash and lotion, doing bed yoga, drinking “well-rested” tea and doing my night time meditation. I also try to do a bentonite clay mask every week to take a mindful pause and care for my skin.

Dahley
Getting into bed by 10pm. No electronics 1 hour before bed. Drink water. Natural light. Workout 4 days a week.

Ariana
I enjoy being mindful of my phone usage, especially in the morning. I like to stretch & release any stagnant energy or emotions trapped within my body. I love finding new songs & listening to old ones that i enjoyed most. I enjoy meditation & travel. Travel resonates most because i truly believe in working to live, not living to work, especially in the time of working from home which has beautiful perks but can exacerbate feelings of stagnancy.

Heather
I keep a daily bullet journal. It is great for me because it serves two purposes. First, as I am not even a little artistic, my friend creates the monthly outline for me. This means that she and I have a standing monthly date so we know that we are going to spend time together which is wonderful self-care for me. Second, it means that I get daily self-care as I take 5-10 minutes to reflect on my day and record the things I for which I am grateful.

Rachel
I enjoy getting into bed early and reading a book. I also enjoy coloring and painting, watching tv shows and movies, and getting my nails done.

Gabrielle
I often use 4-7-8 breathing. Inhaling for a mental count of 4 seconds, holding the breath for 7 seconds, and exhaling for 8 seconds. This breathing technique really activates the parasympathetic response and helps reset after encountering a stressor or feeling overwhelmed. I will usually do a set of 10-20 breaths. It really works.

Amy
I rely on humor as much as possible– I especially enjoy taking a few minutes to laugh at funny memes about therapy & therapists.

Judy
A Large Latte! Every evening 1-2 Seinfeld episodes. Fill up pitcher of water with blend of nutritive teas including green tea for caffeine, grounded flax seeds, chia seeds, almond milk and cinnamon, drink throughout the day. Go out with friends once a week for fun

Paul
When times are normal, and covid numbers aren’t as high as they currently, I go for bi-weekly manicure appointments and I go with my mother so it’s also quality time with mom. I also enjoy reading and having virtual visits with friends and family, Prayer is also a big part of my daily life.

Azadeh
Walks, knitting 🧶 , meditation 🧘🏻‍♀️, reading 📚

Zoe
Daily exercise, warm tea in the morning, journaling, reaching out to friends, nourishing food, cooking. No screens before bed.

Billie
it is so important for me that I take quiet time and time to move my body. I do at least 20 minutes of yoga, 4 times a week, I have tea before bed every work-night, and I protect my Sundays for rest and laziness, or for whatever I say I want to do.

Gabriella
Salsa dancing classes 1x/week, exercise 3x/week, music during my daily commute, nail salon visit 1x/month.

Cynthia
Daily prayer. Getting out of the house. Stretching. Getting enough sleep. Reading something interesting or enjoyable.

Darlene
Having a mental health day to relax, taking a personal care and self pampering time for yourself. Facial, manicure, pedicure, sauna, these things can be done in the comfort of your own home. Relax with a nice cup of tea or wine and most importantly prayer for our family, loved ones, friends and ourselves.

MAKE AN APPOINTMENT

Focused Articles

Women Making a Difference

Every woman has the ability to make a difference in the community in which they live.

If you’re wondering how you can contribute to your community, remember it doesn’t have to be a grand gesture, things you may take for granted could make all the difference in someones life.

Here’s one uplifting example:

Living my life, ageless

How To Prepare For your Online Therapy

The benefits of female therapists for women

The challenges that women deal with are often directly related to their gender; sexism, stereotyping, motherhood, childbirth issues, infertility struggles etc.

The Journey of Menopause

Hot flashes, depression, insomnia or other symptoms, are called the menopausal transition, or peri-menopause.

5 stages of grief

Denial

Anger

Bargaining

Depression

Acceptance

Everyone experiences grief differently, you might feel your own grieving process isn’t going “according to the norm” but there is no such thing as a right or wrong way to grieve while of coping with loss.

Depression or Sadness?

Depression differs from sadness in its intensity, frequency, and duration.

Valentine’s Day

No matter what relationship you are in, if you don’t know how to appreciate yourself then you don’t know what would make you happy and whole. Some women feel if they don’t have a date, someone to buy them roses or chocolate that they are not worth it.

anxiety

Our therapists share their Self-care routines

Self-care is a crucial part of looking after yourself, as well as those around you.

Self-care means something different to each of us, but it doesn’t need to be complicated or overly time consuming. We asked our therapists to share their own self-care routines, maybe some of these might work for you:

CONTACT US

LOCATIONS

IN AN EMERGENCY

BCS Counseling Group is NOT an emergency or 24 hour service.

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